It is that time of year where many a blogger sets forth to create the perfect Gift Guide to share with their readers. I am always amazed at the time and effort that is put into these gift lists, and I scour all of my bloggy friend's sites to pore over the lists. They are awesomesauce resources (I'll share a few worth looking over at the end of this post).
But if you are coming 'round these parts in search of a Gift Guide to wow even your wildest dreams?
You are barking up the wrong tree.
I?
I am not one of those talented bloggers.
But, in keeping with the holiday shopping spirit, today I bring to you a piece of literature, a heartwork really, of gifts that adorned my Christmas Lists as a child. Gifts I dreamed of. Gifts I coveted friends over having. Gifts I longed for.
And never received.
Steph's Ungift Guide:
The Mourning of Toys that Never Made It Under Her Tree
A Dollhouse
A simple toy that every girl dreams of. Many of my friends had these lovely toys, and I'd play for hours at their homes: carefully placing furniture, thoughtfully decorating the interior, and creating tableaus for the wooden dolls that lived there. I woke up many Christmas mornings with the hope that a miniature house all for my dollies would be sitting pretty under the tree. And many Christmas mornings my hope died a slow, sad death. No dollhouses for this little girl. Here is the short list of dollhouses that would have been the optimal gift (but, really, any dollhouses would have made the cut):
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| The Barbie Dream House, Malibu or otherwise. Best feature: the year they installed an elevator. WHAT?!? |
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| She-Ra's Crystal Castle |
Because also?
I still know every word to this commerical. PRINCESS OF POWER.
A Fisher Price 3-in-One Play Table
I wanted one of these SO BAD. In 3rd grade, I wrote a very detailed and explicit letter to Santa explaining the importance of me receiving this gift, not the least of which was so I could be the envy of all my classmates. Because? BECAUSE it was a table that enabled it's users to play THREE GAMES at ONCE. Well, not all at once. But the table had the option to be a pool table OR a ping pong table OR an air hockey table. WHAT? That is HOURS upon DAYS upon WEEKS of PLAY TABLE FUN.
So that year I woke up confident on Christmas morning that I would be the recipient of one 3-in-1 Play Table. I tore through all the small gifts, taking peeks at different corners, wondering where the Big Guy had stashed the surprise. But it never appeared. Instead, I opened the Ariel and Eric barbie doll set. Which amounted to only 1 hour of fun. Not WEEKS OF FUN.
One might say I was disappointed.
A Snoopy Sno Cone Maker
This was the ultimate Non Gift I Never Received. If there was ever anything in my life I wanted more than Nutella, it was a Snoopy Sno Cone Maker. My neighbor had one, and I swear I could have watched that thing crank out shaved ice for HOURS. I loved that the sno cone ice came out of Snoopy's doghouse. And there were all these great flavors (undoubtedly full of harmful chemicals and dyes, but I digress). It was the stuff dreams were made of.
And my neighbor had it.
And I did not.
To this day, whenever I see a Snoopy Sno Cone maker, a little part of me cries.
And then I go buy a jar of Nutella.
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Now I want to hear from YOU:
What were those Non-Gifts from YOUR life?
Leave a comment, share your story, and let's commiserate together.
For some legit Gift Guide fun, check out:
