Carnivals and Toenail Fungus {Real Bedtime Conversations}

Actual conversation between Hubby and I after we climbed in bed last night:

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Me: I am thinking of taking the girls to the carnival tomorrow night.


Hubby: That will be fun.


Me: Yeah. Except it doesn't start until 6 o'clock. WHAT THE HECK. Why so late?


Hubby: I know, right? They should have a senior citizen/young children hour before they open to the public.


Me: But seriously. Why does every carnival in the history of mankind start at 6pm? Don't they know kids have bedtimes?


Hubby: Well. Let's be honest. Carnivals aren't exactly "kid friendly," nor are they geared toward kids.


Me: Whatevs. Kids love carnivals. But I know what you mean. Carnies are total creepers.


Hubby: "Carnival" is derived from the same latin word as "Carnivore." So they kind of mean the same thing.


Me: Because carnivores and carnivals both eat meat?


Hubby: No. Carnivore means "feast of the flesh." So carnivore is literally "feasting on flesh," and carnival is more of a culturally figurative "feast of the flesh."


Me: Can I ask you a question?


Hubby: Sure


Me: Have you ever had, like, toenail fungus?


Hubby: I thought you were going to ask something about latin derivatives.


Me: Sorry to disappoint you.


Hubby: No. No I have not.


Me: ...Ok.


Hubby:...Why?


Me: Because my littlest pinky toenail has always had some weirdness happening in the corner, and I just noticed that the weirdness is taking over more of the nail. That's all.


Hubby: Um. You should probably get that checked out.


Me: Oh it's ok. It doesn't hurt or anything.


Hubby: Yeah. That's what they all say. And then things get crazy.


Me: I guess we'll see.


Hubby: Just call your doctor.


Me: I haven't seen my podiatrist in years!


Hubby: Me neither.


Me: Doesn't it make me sound all old to say my podiatrist? Like we're buddies and we have, like, a weekly appointment just to keep my feet all fresh before we head to the all-you-can-eat buffet?


Hubby: ....No?


Me: I wonder if Carnies go to the podiatrist.

Yep. It's safe to say we're pretty weird.

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What kind of Real Bedtime Conversations have happened recently in YOUR house?