A post shared by Jeanene R.
~~~~~
I’m
tired.
It’s
a phrase I use quite often.
But
its not the phrase most understand.
And
I am FINE with that. I wish no illness on ANYONE.
I
am a mom with Stage 5 Chronic Kidney Failure and Lupus Nephritis, and
an annoying list of ugly symptoms that goes along with those
diseases. BOTH of which have “extreme fatigue’ in the symptoms
list… AND I am awaiting losing 20 lbs to qualify for a kidney
transplant.
An
average day depends on what I did the day or days before. Was I
physically active? Did I clean too much? Did I run too many errands?
Did I get to stay home all day with my 3 yr old?
If
I was active, example, attending a family gathering, cleaning more
than just one room, had a photo shoot, etc, then it may be a tough
morning. Which typically includes me barely handling getting up to
grab a sippy of pediasure/milk for my munchkin at 7:30, then straight
back into bed while she wakes up to PBS.
Some
days, I can’t get out of bed at all. I only get up to make her a
quick lunch and go right back into bed.
Some
days I can get up without a hitch, and make the breakfast of all
champs.
My
key to being a mom and living with illness is choice.
I
make a mental list of what needs to be done the MOST. Because more
than likely, I will only have enough energy to get one of those done.
Do
I clean the kitchen or do we go outside and play til mommy needs to
come back inside?
Do
I make a big lunch for us, or save the energy for a nice dinner for
our mini family of 3?
Its
all about choice. What do you choose? Illness or life? Sadness or
happiness? Victim or Victory?
And
attitude. There is a silver lining in EVERY horrible situation.
Sure,
I have my days where I cry in bed and wish I could just take my kid
to the park like a normal mom, or have the energy to play with her
somedays. Where I wonder if I’ll get to see her graduate… but I
make a CHOICE not to stay in that place.
I
choose to live in the NOW. I make fun in my bed when I can’t seem
to move. Computer games, tv time, reading, coloring, etc. And in this
my angel is beyond smart. She is a genius. Everyday I think if I die
tomorrow, I have left an AMAZING little woman for the world to watch
out for.
If
I am feeling well, I make the best of it. We go to a park, or we run
to the toy store (which she doesn’t need but if I can do it, I
wanna), or make a family day for the zoo. Deep down I know I will pay
for it in the days to come, but I live for TODAY.
Because
TODAY is all I am guaranteed for sure.
And
lastly, but mostly, God. I don’t know where I would be without Him.
He alone is the reason I continue to wow my doctors of how I am able
to do everything I can at only 10% kidney function.
A
good attitude can make you or break you. And when you are a mom, you
cannot afford to break.
~~~~~
I was so moved and humbled reading Jeanene's words. I hope you are too! And my greatest hope is that we will all see the world with new eyes as we read all the different Parenting Perspectives shared here.
Please share your thoughts in the comments below!
Please share your thoughts in the comments below!
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